Pole Dancing for Jesus

I’m writing this week’s post In The Name Of Jesus! Why? Well why not. It appears that everything Christians want to do they just stick, “In The Name Of Jesus!” after it and for some reason it becomes relevant and acceptable. Some of these causes are quite positive: Feed the Hungry, Clothe the Naked, Home the Homeless, etc. Some are quite negative: Blow Up the Clinic of the Non-Exploded, Shoot the Doctor you Don’t Agree With, Picket the Dead Soldier Who Died for Your Right to Picket, etc.

And then we have the just plain silly: Pole Dancing for Jesus. 

Award Sharing Time

I have been nominated for two Versatile Blogger Awards. This comes as a shock to me because a) why does anybody actually read my blog? and b) why would they think it’s good?

However, I’ll accept this honor because in writing this blog I have come to respect bloggers more than I can express. Writing a decent blog is not that easy. When I started out just a few short months ago I was full of ideas and they poured out. Then they dribbled, then sputtered, then dripped like a toddlers nose. It turns out I’m not that creative. Who would have guessed??  (Be quiet, Debbie!)

There are 23 zippideezillion blogs out there. There are more blogs in the blogosphere than people in New York City. Like the population of New York, the blogs are varied and colorful. Some are celebrities who live fascinating and popular lives, but most are just folks contributing to their little corner of the community. Most blogs are like the little mom and pop diner in the Bronx that only has six tables. Not everybody knows it’s there, but the ones that do, are loyal and stop back regularly. That’s what I want to be. The little diner that has really good pie.

Scientific Study of Body Image

We all see ourselves differently than the world at large sees us. This is our body image and it changes through life. When I see a clip of Jersey Shore’s Snooky gyrating her giant ass against a glass wall so the cameras can get a closeup, I wonder what she sees in the mirror or in the TV clips I’m sure she watches every night.

Men are Better Than Women at Everything

We've simply evolved over time into two distinct species that happen to have the ability to inter-breed.

I’m watching my wife mow our lawn. She really sucks at it.  It’s a scorcher today. I lay back watching her from my shaded lawn chair with a cold bottle of beer pressed against my neck. I am pondering the so-called glass ceiling. I don’t think any rational person can dispute that the glass ceiling exists. Women get paid less for the same job. They are promoted less and it’s harder for a woman to get elected to public office. Even in Hollywood female stars command less money overall than men and their careers start to wane as the age.

My wife’s inability to mow the lawn well is analogous to the glass ceiling.

Men: Color Blind, Stupid, or Apathetic?

Let’s set the stage. I’m a man. I’m married to a woman. She is caring, intelligent, compassionate, beautiful (insert more superlatives here) but ultimately she is a woman. For my younger readers who are just starting out on the first of their many relationships you may learn from my experience. This is my third marriage. This one has lasted over twenty years. The first two? Not so long-lived. Why? Because I had not perfected my mental editing software. Just like I try to go back over these posts and check for glaring errors, so men must check the words that are about to tumble out of their mouth for glaring errors. To continue the analogy, when I’m typing this post I know I won’t accidentally type great profanities or libelous sentences. That’s the easy part. But little errors of grammar and syntax slip through that might to irritate some peoples to see. (See?)

So in the early days of a relationship I’m sure you know enough not to look at your dear love and say something like, “Holy crap, that outfit makes you look fat as a house. And while I’m at it, did a squirrel move into your hair?”