Football is a Stupid Game!

Football is a stupid game. It needs to be said. As football season in the US approaches, it’s time to point out that the Emperor Has No Clothes. Football is boring, stupid, and pointless.

I have tried to like our brand of football my whole life. I grew up near Chicago where it was da Bears, the Packers and Notre Dame. Every Sunday meant gathering around the TV and watching in rapt attention while a bunch of overpaid behemoths scrimmaged into a pile of sweaty flesh for 12 seconds at a time. The other 17 hours of the game involved 4 announcers telling us what happened during each 12 seconds of play and also what should have happened but didn’t. This mind numbing boredom led to the invention of beer, snacks, and NFL cheerleaders. If it were not for snacks, beer, and broads there would be no football industry. A good test of this hypothesis is to watch your next game without them. Just sit in your recliner and watch the game. No booze, no beer, no Slim Jims, no Frito Pie or any other diversion. You have to just watch the game.

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