The Debate in Washington Has All Sides Sounding the Same. Take This Fun Quiz and Match the Quote to the Author.

I am so confused by rhetorical debate in Washington. After weeks of point counterpoint I can't tell who said what anymore.

I can't tell the players without a scorecard anymore!

I am so confused by the endless rhetorical debate in Washington. After weeks of point counterpoint I can’t tell who said what anymore.

Accusations and vitriol abound: Who’s too liberal? Who’s more Christian? Who has the best interest of the country in mind? Who loves their country more? Does this impasse spell doom for our country’s economy?

Here are a few quotes and a short poll at the end where you can choose the person who said them. It’s quick and fun and informative!

  1. “And I can fight only for something that I love, love only what I respect, and respect only what I at least know.”

  2. “Words build bridges into unexplored regions.”

  3.  “I believe today that my conduct is in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator”

  4. “As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice”

  5. “The doom of a nation can be averted only by a storm of flowing passion, but only those who are passionate themselves can arouse passion in others.”

Don’t Cheat… but CLICK HERE to find out who said all these things.

Men are Better Than Women at Everything

We've simply evolved over time into two distinct species that happen to have the ability to inter-breed.

We've simply evolved over time into two distinct species that happen to have the ability to inter-breed.

I’m watching my wife mow our lawn. She really sucks at it.  It’s a scorcher today. I lay back watching her from my shaded lawn chair with a cold bottle of beer pressed against my neck. I am pondering the so-called glass ceiling. I don’t think any rational person can dispute that the glass ceiling exists. Women get paid less for the same job. They are promoted less and it’s harder for a woman to get elected to public office. Even in Hollywood female stars command less money overall than men and their careers start to wane as the age.

My wife’s inability to mow the lawn well is analogous to the glass ceiling.

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Cat Butt Massage: Therapeutic or Just Creepy?

When did my life sink so low that my normal reaction to a cat with a cold is to massage his butt.  I am so out of touch with reality that I don’t know what normal pet owners do when their cat gets sick.

I’m just guessing here, but I don’t think the conversation goes like this:

Statement: “Honey, the cat has a cold.”

Reply:  “Whose turn is it for Cat Butt Massage?”

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I don’t know what good music is, but I know it when I hear it.

“What kind of music do you like?”  A friend asks me that very simple question.  I really can’t answer it directly. My standby answer is that I have eclectic tastes. That’s a cop-out for “help, I’m hopelessly confused.”

To paraphrase  Justice Potter Stewart and his 1964 comment on pornography , “I don’t know what good music is, but I know it when I hear it.”

So I’ll ask you, the reader. What artists or songs are on your playlist(s)?  I looked at mine and found Liszt and Lady Gaga, Mozart and the Klezmatics, the Decemberists and Neil Young,…..

I wondered about my musical taste or lack thereof and what these diverse artists had in common.  Continue reading

Japan asks: Who wants to buy a geiger counter?

News from Japan has dropped off the radar as more important stories have moved up the USA headline list. I was texting with an acquaintance in Japan as he continued to beat me in Words With Friends. He is an American who lives and teaches in the center of Japan.  Roughly 12 hours before there had been another 7.3 earhtqualke, which is not unusual. The nuclear plant was unaffected and most citizen’s took it in stride.

I asked him for an update on the average citizen’s situation after the tsunami and nuclear accident.

He’s worried about radiation exposure in the food his kids are eating. The Japanese government assures their citizen’s of the food supply’s safety. But, as any thinking person would, he doubts the official word. Kids in the Fukushima prefecture have already been found to have radiation exposure. He doesn’t know how far the radiation has spread.

His wish is for a Geiger counter. What?

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What do you do when a cat barfs on your pillow…

 I am surrounded by a bevy of scantily clad supermodels. I wonder why they're scantily clad if it's a dream.

If this is my dream I wonder why they're all scantily clad instead of not clad at all. Why am I dressed like a sad Vegas tourist. Why are there two of me? This dream sucks!

I am cradled in the arms of Morpheus, fast asleep, enjoying my favorite dream. I am surrounded by a bevy of scantily clad supermodels. If  this is a dream I wonder why they’re scantily clad . There are no rules to a dream so shouldn’t they be completely UN-clad.

Surely it’s acceptable to be frolicking with naked supermodels if it’s a dream. That’s not cheating? Right? Right?

(Maybe I need professional dream interpretation help.) In the midst of my pathetically chaste dream I hear a rumbling and hacking rising from deep within my subconscious. I wonder if one of my still not nude supermodels is about to lose her lunch because she now realizes who her fellow frolicker is. Maybe this is actually her dream and she’ll wake up and tell her friends about the nightmare she had.

Pillow fight playboy models dreams

My slightly sick imagination pictures this pillow fight.

(My slightly sick imagination pictures this conversation between Adriana Lima and Milla Jovovich while they are having a pillow fight.) Sorry,  back to the topic now…

So I hear this rumbling, hacking, guttural sound mere inches from my head.  I awaken just as one of our sweet and loving cats hurls what appears to be several days of worth of animal by-product and tuna bits onto my pillow. The warm, piquant liquid cascades across my pillow.

My question for you is this: What would a sane, normal, well-adjusted person do in this situation?  Continue reading

Slavery: What’s So Bad About It?

I’ve been thinking about slavery a lot lately and wonder what the big deal is.   I’m certainly not suggesting slavery again for African-Americans. They’ve taken their turn. I think we can find other candidates. How about Mexican workers (and by “Mexican” I mean anybody originating south of Brownsville, TX). They are only about $5.00 an hour away from being slaves already. If you exchange the $5.00 an hour wage for room and board, you’re pretty much there!

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Casey Anthony – Trial Coverage or Sports Event?

I am both appalled and amazed at how televised trials have become sporting events. I’m a little embarrassed to say that I was drawn into watching the Casey Anthony trial. I’m actually watching live coverage as I type this. The judge and the attorneys are conducting themselves in a serious and dignified manner. A woman’s life hangs in the balance. A child has died. All parties seem to understand the gravity of the situation. All parties except the TV commentators. They seem to believe this is the NFL or a rerun of Deal or No Deal.

In the early days of CourtTV, before the race  for ratings turned it into TruTV, it covered trials with dignity.  The commentators informed viewers of the intricacies of the law. They explained the reasons behind the methods used on both sides of the aisle. It could be boring at times. That’s because real trials do not operate like the 30 minute condensed trial on Law & Order. Real trials are ponderous. They go on for weeks or months and aren’t ratings giants.

The rant continues…