The hallmark of mankind is his (or her) ability to shape his environment to suit his needs. Earliest humans began by shaping sticks and stones into tools. Over the millennium we have advanced from the simple technology of a hollowed-out gourd to space travel. Somewhere during this journey we seemed to have gotten off track. We now invent for the sake of invention. It’s not pretty. I am not talking about gag gifts here. Those silly little things that you get a chuckle out of and then they end up in a drawer. I am talking about people who seriously believe the world is a better place because of their invention.
I am not talking about adaptive aids for disabled folks , like fellow blogger The Hobbler or my dear friend “Jim The One Legged Kludge”. By the way, for those of you who have followed Jim’s saga here, I thought I’d tell you he lost yet another body part a couple of weeks ago. “Lost” may not be the right term, though. It actually exploded across the operating room. The good news is, thanks to a crack janitorial staff, they were able to clean all the Jim Parts off the walls so he wasn’t charged overtime for use of the operating theater. Which just proves there’s always a bright side to every organ explosion. Don’t worry, he’s doing fine and whatever part it was, he said it wasn’t an important one. It always amazes me how many body parts we have that really aren’t necessary. What’s up with that?
Sorry to slide off-topic. Let’s continue…
A new product should fill an actual need. Imagine the thought process of the great inventors of the past two centuries.
“If only there were a way to communicate with someone far away besides writing a letter or sending a messenger,” thought Samuel Morse. Hence the telegraph. (And later the telephone which was invented by Al Gore)
“If only we could light our homes without burning them down,” thought Thomas Edison as he developed the lightbulb by candlelight.
“If only we could save our houses from burning down from lightning so they could burn down from candles since we don’t have lightbulbs yet,” thought Benjamin Franklin as he erected his lightning rods.
Now imagine the product meetings of today.
“If only there were a way to eat an ice cream cone without having to move your tongue so much.”
“If only there were a way to crack an egg using a device I’ll have to wash and store and put away.”
“If only there were a blanket with holes in it for my arms!”
“If only there were a handy way to freeze dog poop”
“If only there were a blanket that could hold my husbands farts in!”
Simply put, all the useful stuff has been invented and now we got too much shit.
There’s a fairly simple test to see if a product falls into the “Too Much Shit” category. Here are a few in no particular order. I could list hundreds but I try so hard not to get long-winded.
Does it take a simple task and add a battery for no valid reason?
And my nomination for the best worst strangest invention ever in the world and for all time!
I’d love to hear your nomination for wackiest or stupidest product. Just leave your pick in the comments section.
Dawn, I didn’t include the Clapper because it’s awesome! Back to your nap now. And you should seriously consider a blog. Your adventures in nursing, motherhood, etc. would illuminate the world.
Sky Mall Magazine products! I hate about half of them and want to buy the other half.
Also, I love my fusion razor 🙂 I have never nicked my legs using it.
Becca, I knew the Fusion comment would tweak you. I never nick my legs with my old fashioned razor either.
Those inventions are way too funny. The worst part of all is that they were able to make enough to pay for advertising. That is crazy; and here we are writing our little hearts out for free.
Rebekah, That’s so true. But you’re not getting paid for your blog?
Haha. But you know what I’m interested in knowing now, what were you doing/thinking/looking for when you found the interesting inventions.
@sayali, I was actually watching TV early one morning and one of the stupid infomercials came on that started me thinking that “We have invented too much shit!” So of course I thought that would make a decent blog post. I’m not a deep thinker. Thanks for commenting and stopping by!
I think the potty putter is good for golfers, and i’m sure you will have a few comments from the crazy chicks club about the dildo 😆
Thanks Harry, I’m torn about the Crazy Chicks Club commenting. Part of me is very anxious to get their input and another part of me is afraid… very afraid. I’m just hoping they’ll explain the Bluetooth part. Thanks for weighing in.
This has got to be one of the funniest posts I’ve read and so holiday appropriate. I’m giving Santa my wish list and aside from a “real man” I’d like one of those USB dildos. All I have to do is program it the way “I likes it” and I’m off to Orgasmoville. Gonna have to Tweet and FB this. 🙂
Thanks Lafemme, I hope Santa brings one for you and all the good girls. If you get one tell me what the Bluetooth does. The only Bluetooth device I know goes with a cell phone. Does it make the device talk?? Does it come with Siri?? “Would it have a man’s voice saying, “How YOU doin’?” like Joey Tribiani?
A whole new experience in laptop entertainment!
Thanks for visiting Patti!
This was a most helpful post. You gave me some great ideas for Christmas. I was just getting everyone Diet Water and Butter Sticks, but these are much better.
Yes, Miss Demure, you can never go wrong with
Well, you’ve forgotten the USB blow job- although that apparently sold really well, so I’m not sure the population at large could consider it to be frivolous. Supposedly, it came with software, which would be updated so the user could get a fresh batch of “girls” so as not to get too bored with the product.
http://thenewsextoy.com/…… I didn’t see anything about girls and updated software- this looks like a plug-n-play with porn, so I’m not sure if it’s the same thing or not, but it’s USB and you get the gist…… 😆
Gosh TikTok, There’s yet another must-have item for the Christmas list!